I know that if you’re reading this, then you already have an amazing mission to fulfill and you want to positively impact the world. Your strength may be in helping others change careers, heal their relationships, bring wellness or loose these stubborn pounds. With that huge power in you, you have the potential to collectively change lives. Many of them in fact!
You were so excited to share it with others, because sharing is caring, but then something happened. They said it was stupid, too much work, not a good idea, wrong decision, you can’t do this. Heard of these? Many people do, many times in their lives. In such cases it’s easy to doubt, to reevaluate, start believing something that’s not your own thought. Even worse – if you decide to give up.
THE ART OF POSITIVE SCREENWRITING
When you cross someone who says you can’t do it you must remember that they are not you. They don’t see it through the way you do. They don’t understand your vision or your big ‘Why’. People reject what they don’t understand. It is a pure convenience, but also a simple protective mechanism. When you hear another ‘no’ or when you go to the meeting, but already know how someone will respond, you’re engaging yourself in a negative screenwriting. In other words you’re projecting what will happen, as if you were writing a movie script. So the natural next step for your subconscious mind is to take over and act as a director on the set. See where this is going? Here’s what we established so far:
- You are your life’s screenwriter
- You are the ‘Your Life’ movie director
- You decide how to play
If you look at it – similarly as many people write negative stories in their heads – you can write a positive one. Then you get to direct the feel good type of movie, as opposed to a horror or thriller.
1. THE ART OF AWARENESS IN LIFE AND REACHING GOALS
You may find yourself daydreaming. You may have even taken the time to plan, yet you’re not taking the necessary steps to follow through. Maybe one of your goals was to get more exposure, be more recognised. But for some reason you’re not approaching any influencers, because you’re scared they would say ‘no’ or think you’re too ‘small’ in the industry to get their attention.
About a year ago I attended an event, small intimate networking. At the beginning we received our name badges and the organiser announced a round table, where we had to introduce ourselves. This is quite typical process, so for me it was no surprise, but I could see others faces changing. Their eyes widening, people nervously looking around and then they went quiet. After the round was over, and we were free to casually talk, I saw a person approaching or rather circling round at first. She walked past a few times before talking to me, then said she was sorry she mumbled, before saying anything else. The truth is she wasn’t, she was perfectly beautiful woman. She spoke well, her words were smart, but in her head it felt like she looked stupid and ineloquent.
See how in the example above she wrote a scenario and kept repeating it in her head. This made her so nervous that, if I didn’t consciously direct her to her purpose, we would never speak. She thought I was too big for her, I saw a warm and beautiful girl approaching and was curious. I felt privileged she chose me out of fifteen other people standing around and wanted to know her story.
When you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s important to understand where such thinking comes from. What’s holding you back from achieving your goals and greater success, what’s stopping you from expressing your true self.
2. THE ART OF RECOGNITION
When you start observing yourself in various situations with time you’ll recognize patterns emerging. Often they appear because there’s a certain association with a person, a situation. One of the biggest triggers for entrepreneurs is meeting someone who’s done what they dream of, who walked the path already.
- are you intimidated by the other person?
- do you feel you’re too ‘small’ to approach them?
- who do they remind you of (a bully at school, a family member, an ex-partner)?
- when was the last time you felt this way?
- was the situation/type of person similar?
Some situations may knock your confidence down. Especially when there are triggers in the environment, in situations we find ourselves in. Once you learn recognizing them, you’ll be able to work on them, understand them and overwrite with new behaviours.
3. THE ART OF MATCHMAKING: Vulnerability + Accountability
Sometimes it’s difficult to find these patterns yourself, in which case you may be also afraid to be vulnerable. We build these emotional castles to protect us, but what happens is the opposite. We sit enclosed in them so much that we don’t allow others to help us. We’re scared to be vulnerable, because we get afraid someone will judge us. We use our energy for creating, but what we create is destructive. And it really is amazingly helpful to have someone to explore the new territories with you. It could be a mastermind partner, a colleague or even a friend. Open up, little by little.
One of the most important things to take away from this article is that no matter what hesitations, comments or opinions others have, they are not You. So they have no way of understanding your choices, your goals unless you either educate them or show them. You are the Director, The Manager, The Leader of your own life. You’re the Captain of your ship. You have everything you need and the power to steer it into fulfillment.
The other takeaway is that regardless of what people say you won’t please everyone. In fact – you shouldn’t want to! It’s great if you’re aware that not everyone will like you and that’s totally fine too. The world has billions of people and the whole beauty of living is in our differences. Next time someone tells ‘no’ don’t take it personally. hey are not rejecting you as a person. It doesn’t affect you if you don’t let it.
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